This is Danielle taking over with another blog post. This blog topic was actually prompted by a bride. A lot of brides decide to invite certain guests to their wedding and these guests respond with an ‘attending’. Then, the wedding date arrives and these confirmed guests don’t show! As far as social etiquette goes, not attending a wedding you have confirmed for is UNACCEPTABLE!
Here is my advice. If you are on the fence about your attendance at a wedding you have scored an invite to, then respond that you regretfully cannot attend. If you are unsure about attending a wedding, consider the financial implications for both yourself and the couple. If you confirm your attendance and do not show up, they are losing the money they have paid for your meal, your space at the ceremony, and your drinks. Remember, you were invited and therefore you are considered close enough to have ‘made the cut’ on the attendance list. Consider the invitation and make your decision. Will you be able to get the time off work? Will you be able to afford the travel? Will your family be attending? You don’t always have to see it in the ‘if she invited me to her wedding will I have to invite her to mine?’ mentality either. Weddings vary in size, friend groups, and family combinations. Don’t get stuck in this mindset. Take the invite for what it is and see if you can realistically attend.
Stick to your response. If you say yes…then stick to your yes. It is a blatant disregard for your friendship with the couple if you confirm attendance and do not show. We recognize there are circumstances which may arise that cannot be predicted. Your friend that invited you will understand if something does occur. That being said…you could easily become ‘that person’ in your friend group if you keep skipping out on weddings.
Ultimately, this lesson relates to the Golden Rule — “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”. Would you want people to confirm to your wedding and then not show?